


Year twelve: X

by Dawninn_Gamgee



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Apocalypse, Multi, Surviving, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies, lethal virus, lots of weird made up science, top!phil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-11 08:53:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5620903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawninn_Gamgee/pseuds/Dawninn_Gamgee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nineteen-year-old Phil Lester is a survivor in a world where one rare virus has been released and infected all of humanity. He keeps a diary in the hopes that someone might read it and know the truth one day. He doesn't expect to meet Dan Howell, and he doesn't expect to fall in love in a world where staying alive is never granted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: The Apocalypse

**Day 1**  
   
Hello, my name is Phil, Phil Lester. Philip Michael Lester if you're my mom and I've done something wrong, but most people just call me Phil. But it doesn't matter who I am. I'm writing this because the world need to know. I need the world to know. I mean, if anything happens to me or to my family... I fear no one will ever know what really happened, but this is proof. This is proof of all the bad that has been happening since The Day. This, if nothing else, will be a proof of our existence, because we existed. We exist. And we plan on keeping it that way. We are tough, you know. We all are. We can hold our own, even if it wasn't our choice. We were made this way. After all, we are survivors.  
   
If you are from the future and reading this, you probably know what I'm talking about. Is it on history books? Do you have to study it like you study presidents' names and geography? Or are we truly the last ones on earth and after we pass away this diary will just become dust like everything else? It's hard to tell. Therefore, I will start at the beginning, just to set the mood. Let's go back to The Day. The day when it all began. The day everything went to hell.  
   
I don’t remember The Day as well as others do, but that's because I was only a child; therefore, I'll go straight to the facts. November the eleventh, year zero; that is the date. The day had begun like any other, with people minding their own daily business and just going around, but that was soon going to change. Little did we know that somewhere in America a lethal virus had just been released. They say it was an accident, that the system failed and that's how the virus was released, but we don't believe it. At least, not many of us do. The scientists working at the facility tried to contain the virus from spreading. They were the firsts victims. The Government proceeded to lock down the place, along with everyone in it, but that didn't work. Few minutes later it was all over the news: "Unknown lethal virus escapes U.S. facility". The virus was called XoC-16, but we call it the Blues. Why do we call it that? Because that's the first symptom.  
   
Once you inhale the virus your heart stops beating, your lungs stop breathing, and you basically die. But it doesn't end there. If it ended there it wouldn't be as bad. Because air is not entering your system you start turning blue, a deep shade of blue. And you are dead. Most important of all, your brain is dead. But then, your system restarts. Your gasp for air and look around, but you no longer know anyone. You are alive, but your brain kind if isn't. So you are not yourself, you are not even human. You are a twisted, undead version of who you used to be. I guess this is what most people would call a zombie, but it's slightly different. You are not a rotting corpse walking around. It's all biology.  
   
 There are certain areas in our brain that control certain aspects of our lives:  our brain reacts differently to certain environments and situations, releasing different chemicals into our system. What is wrong with people who got infected is that their brain no longer functions the way it should, so you become violent and irrational. You forget everything about yourself and you are unable to learn new things. You can't talk because that area of your brain is probably dead. You can't feel anything either, so you are totally senseless. But what is more, you are merciless. You have no empathy, you have no feelings, you don't understand what is to cry or feel pain, sorrow or regret. Now here is the tricky thing, people who are infected crave human meat. They will eat anything that is raw and hot: you heart, your insides, your brain. We don't know why, but it's just the way it is. And they wont kill you first, by the way: they like their meat to be fresh and beating.  
   
If you get bitten then you are in serious trouble because that's how you get infected. I mean, yes, the virus initially spread through the air, but that only lasted so long; after that, Infected ones were to ones to keep spreading it. I guess it's not their fault, but we can't let ourselves feel sorry for them. If we do, then we are dead meat. If an Infected bites you all you can do is cut off the place where you've been bitten before the virus invades all your system. But, let's face it, this is not always possible. For instance, if you get bitten on the neck, shoulder or torso then you are dead meat. If you get bitten on your leg then you're dead meat. I mean, we could cut it off, sure, but then you wouldn't be able to run or escape if needed, and escaping is always needed. If you are lucky enough to get bitten on your arm then you might survive, but you wouldn't be able to shoot a gun or wield a weapon with as much efficiency. But it's something. I guess it could be worse. But if you get bitten and slowly start turning blue, then I'm sorry 'cause we are going to kill you. I don't care if you are my mother or my best friend: we will kill you. I'd rather kill one of us than be responsible for the death of everyone in my family. That's just the way it is.  
   
Twelve years have passed since The Day, which means that the year twelve is currently running, it's summer, and my family and I are hiding in some empty barn that we found on the road; the country is safer, but we can't allow ourselves to just settle on one place, we are always moving, always hiding, always on the run. It's not an easy life, but we handle it alright. At this very moment I'm keeping watch as I write this. Everyone else has gone to sleep and it's my duty to keep them safe. After all, I'm the leader of this group. I'm the oldest one and I've been in charge ever since dad disappeared. We have been through a lot together and everyday is a challenge, just trying to keep alive, but we are always in for each other. And I will write about everything that we've gone through and everything that we'll face, because the world needs to know. You still have a lot to learn about us and we still have a lot of stuff to tell you. But don't worry, if I make it 'til the morning then you will know, 'cause this is our story.  
   
My name is Phil, Philip Michael Lester, and this is the Apocalypse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I don't like author notes, but I really need to establish some points
> 
> 1) Im not a native speaker. I may and will make mistakes, and I would really appreciate any corrections and observations, just don't be rude, please. This said, please stick with my fic even if it is a little wrong when it comes to grammar or vocabulary. Help me improve it. I'm really excited about this and want to keep writing.
> 
> 2) I will try my best for this fic, just give a chance. You may think it's another zombie apocalypse AU like any other, but it will be different. At least I'll try to make it differently. There will be lots of characters involved, and research will be made as to make it more realistic. 
> 
> 3) Some chapters will be just Phil's diary entries, like this one. Others will be regular chapter, with dialogues and all that. 
> 
> 4) Dan will appear soonish, I promise, but not just yet. He will be fabulous so please hang around until that time :)
> 
> 5) This is just personal, but I love when people express their opinion about the things I write because I learn from them, review my works, and hopefully I'll be able to make it better. Also, I'm very friendly, so if you want to ask me anything (about the fic, or literally anything) feel free to do it. That said, I hope you enjoy the ride, see you :)


	2. Chapter 1: Family

I woke up to the sound of Jeff asking for breakfast.

Jeff was the first one to join our family. My dad and I found him when we were fleeing the city, which happened as soon as the Apocalypse began. He was nothing but a baby and he was being tightly held by his mother, or by what we assume was his mother since her face had been eaten whole and she was pretty much dead. Dad took out his handsaw and carefully had to remove her very stiff arms so we could get to Jeff. Nasty business by the way, but we did what needed to be done.

Then we found Emily. Eight-year old Emily had been alone for weeks in a building not far away from the only market where we could find groceries. Back in the early days of the Apocalypse, we sometimes needed to go to the city if we were out of food, medicines, or the like. Right now we don't even bother with that because anything that was in store twelve years ago is certainly not edible these days. When we found Emily she was thin and starving. Her parents had told her to stay in the building, that they were going to get some food and water and then be back, but they never returned. She is eighteen now, and we have been best buds ever since I can remember.

Around the year four, we found another group of survivors who were nice and for a short time we travelled together, at least until they tried to kill us. Max, the leader of their group, tried to steal our food supply because his wife was pregnant and thought that she needed the food more than we did. At night, when we were all asleep, Max tried to take our backpacks but didn't realise that dad was keeping watch. Dad confronted him, but Max wasn't going to leave empty-handed. He took out his gun and threatened dad, saying that he would kill us all if he didn't cooperate. By then, mom and the kids were wide-awake. Next to me was nine-year old Gary, Max's son, and six- year old Cynthia, Max's daughter. We were kids, you know, and kids shouldn't go through shit like this, ever. Dad told him to lower his gun and that here was no need to harm the children. But Max shot anyway. He was aiming at me, but the bullet hit Gary.

"Shit!" Max cursed when he realized what had happened. My dad, the bravest man I've ever known, ran to Gary so he could help him. Max, then, saw his chances and ran off with all of our supplies, leaving his two kids behind, "Dad? Dad!!" Cynthia called him, but the man didn't turn around. Not a month later, we were on our way to a lake where we thought we could find drinking water when we saw Max and his wife again, though this time they were most definitely dead. I won't describe what we saw, because it's too gross and gory for this story, but you can imagine. They still had our backpacks with them, so we took them and continued going. I don't think Gary or Cynth will ever forget it. And I don't think they'll ever forgive them either.

Next year we found Robert. He was an elderly man who had been left behind by his family because he couldn't keep up with them. It was fun having him around, I must admit. He knew lots of stories and games and he knew how to cheer us up. He taught us so much. Turns out Robert knew everything there is to know about plants, so he used to tell us which we could and couldn't eat. Before he came along we wouldn't even dare to eat a wild berry because we were afraid it might be toxic, but now... we are pretty much experts. One day we came across his family by chance and he had to leave because they asked him to join them again. They said they were truly sorry about leaving him behind and that they wanted him back. That was the last time we saw him. We still miss him and wonder if he's still alive.

Three years ago we found the last member of our family so far. Tyler. Believe it or not, he wasn't left behind or had his parents killed like the others. He ran away on his own because he was done with not being accepted by his parents because of his sexuality. I find it funny that in world slowly falling apart people might still worry about things as irrelevant as one's sexuality. It's just wrong. Tyler is now seventeen and openly gay. When we found him he had been going on his own for half a year at least. We don't understand how he survived for so long having absolutely no skills whatsoever and basically being a lazy ass. To be honest, he might be the worst when it comes to chores and fighting and running, but he is the funniest and most caring one. Where would we even be without him? Where would any of us be without the other?

"Hey, Jeffy. Want to help me out here?"

"Why me? It's always me," twelve-year-old Jeff complained. I rolled my eyes and affectionately ruffled his hair. He absolutely hates that.

"Well, that's because you and I are hair mates, see?" I ran my hand through my jet-black fringe and grinned. "We are the only ravens in here, so we stick together. How does that sound?"

"I don’t know. I mean, I guess it's okay." He frowned slightly. "But... why can't I have ginger hair like Gary or blond hair like Tyler?"

"That's because... Uhm...," I swear this kid never gives me a break. I looked around me and spotted a brownish little head. My salvation. "Why don't you go ask Emily? I'm sure she is dying to have this conversation with you."

I watched as Jeff ran off to her and couldn't help but smile.

Looking up to the sky I guessed it was around 8:30 in the morning. These days the sun was the only clock we had and the seasons were the only calendar. You see, immediately after The Day, people started fleeing the city because of several reasons: first, because you can't just sit at home and wait 'til an Infected gets you and kills your whole family because you've been staying in one place the whole time. Second, because of food and water. You can't get any food in the city unless you like to eat concrete. I mean, sure, there are supermarkets and stuff, but those emptied quickly. Third, because cities were the places where most people lived, which means those are the places where most Infecteds are. As you can probably imagine, the chaos doesn't end there. None of us has seen a light bulb functioning since the year zero. Some of us, like Jeff and Cynthia, don't even know what electricity was. People leaving the cities also meant that no one was going to operate the power companies or work at factories or anything. So, no running water, no electricity, no clothing or canned food, nothing. It isn't as bad as you might imagine, though. I mean, we don't miss that stuff because we were too little to remember things like how it was to take a hot shower or watch movies. I had a watch before, you know, but then the batteries died and I haven't been able to find a replacement.

I looked around, making sure no one was following me, and walked to the other side of the barn: it was time for a morning pee. Don't judge me, people from the future! We obviously don't have bathrooms or anything either. Ugh. I did my business as silently as possible and then joined the others. My morning routine was waking up, peeing, and making sure that we were complete. I counted Jeff, Cynthia, Gary, Emily, myself, and...

"Where the fuck is Tyler?"

"He's probably still asleep," Emily told me with a grin, "I'll go check on him. By the way, Cynthia is not feeling good today, so we may need to go and find some herbs for her."

I rolled my eyes and cursed silently. If Tyler gets killed one of these days for being a totally useless piece of shit I might not even care. Just kidding. Regarding Cynthia, I nodded instantly, "Sure, that sounds about right. Besides, we need to find something to eat. It's breakfast time and yesterday we didn't have dinner, so I bet everyone is hungry."

I'm a very responsible group leader, believe it or not, so I approached Cynthia and gently checked if she had a fever. "Hey, Cynth, how are you feeling? Em told me you were sick."

"My tummy aches," she pouted.

Because she didn't have a fever my best guess was that she was hungry. I helped her to her feet, "I think you are going to be alright as soon as we find something for you to eat. Cheer up, okay?"

I always get a little anxious when one of us is not in my field of vision, so I told the children to stay together and went to the barn to ask Em and Tyler what was talking them so long. Last night we slept on the hay, which -to be honest- is one of the best beds we've had in a long time. I kept watch for half the night, and then Gary took my place. We have schedules and all that so we make sure nothing eats us overnight.

"Hello? Emily? Tyler? Are you in here? It's time to go, we have stuff to do today."

"Yes, Phil, we are here! It's just... You really need to check this out!" Emily yelled from somewhere in the room, "You won't believe what Tyler found!"

"Uh?"

"Didn't you hear me? Come here quick! And we might need the others to help as well."

"Okay, okay, just tell me where you are. I can't see you!"

"Right under the stairs, Phily."

"Coming!" I yelled as I ran to the stairs. I didn't know what they had found, but this sure was unusual. I mean, the only things I've found in this barn so far are spiders and insects. "Okay, I'm here. Just wh—," and then I saw it. There was another set of stairs hidden below the pile of hay where Tyler had slept. "Is this a portal to another dimension?"

"Almost." Emily's beaming face greeted me, and in her hands she held the unbelievable.

"Is that... canned food? Are those... Oh my god, diced tomatoes, beef stew, corn, beans....and MIXED FRUIT?" I was baffled. Last time I ate any of those foods I was... 9, probably. This was the freaking paradise. "I’ve got to tell the others! Is that all you found?"

"All we found? Are you kidding me?" Tyler jumped from behind Em holding as many cans as his arms could manage. "There is literally a whole room filled with cans. I guessed we didn't notice this yesterday 'cause it was too dark already, but today when I woke up I kind of fell backwards and found it. I'm fine, by the way."

"Dear god, is it Christmas or something?" Excited as a man could be without losing his manliness, I ran to the door and waved my arms in the air. "Cynth, Jeff, Gary, come here! We found breakfast!"

"What is this?" Cynthia asked minutes later as she held a can of chilli. Her brother shrugged and grabbed one of his knives to open it, "I guess we'll have to find out," he replied in an up-beat manner. Canned food tasted deliciously good after years without having anything but fried rat meat. I closed my eyes as bliss invaded my soul and taste buds. We ate like we hadn't eaten in ages, and until I felt like my buttons were about to pop. By the time we were finished Cynth no longer felt sick.

Emily sat besides me and leaned her head on my shoulder, "By all heavens, I don't I'll ever have to eat again after this."

I chuckled. "We will take some of the cans with us when we part tomorrow, although we can't take all of them, you know... It would make our backpacks too heavy and we can not risk being unable to run." I spared a look to the kids who now were talking merrily a few meters away from us. "I hope the kids understand."

Tyler sat cross-legged in front of us, "So how are my favourite sunshines today?"

"Full," Em and I replied at the same time. I rubbed my belly as a sign of contentment and grinned. "How is my favourite slacker?"

Tyler rolled his eyes, "Ha ha, very funny. Have you ever told him how funny he is, Em?"

The girl playfully raised an eyebrow. "Nope, but I've told him that his eyes are as blue as the ocean."

"Ocean? What is 'ocean'?" Cynthia turned around to face us.

In a matter of seconds everyone had gathered around us and were looking at me as if I were a guru of sorts. "Well, hum... The ocean is...," suddenly I realized that I had no words to describe the ocean. I was speechless. I mean, it had never hit me that these kids had never been to the sea, and how could I possibly explain something as grand, powerful, and endless as the ocean? How could I possibly explain the feeling of the sand beneath your feet and the waves roaring in the distance? The air slightly salty and the sunsets by the shore...

"The ocean is like a very big lake. Really big and different from any lake we've ever seen. The water is salty and when you look at it... it looks like it's never going to end," was my final answer.

Jeff opened his eyes as wide as humanly possible. "I want to go there! I want to see it all by myself!"

"I, uhm..." Now this was hard for me. I really wanted to make these kids happy but they were asking for too much. I mean... arrangements could be made but... It wouldn't be very safe, would it? After all we are survivors and not tourists, "I'm sorry, Jeffy, but we are not going to the ocean."

"Why not?" Cynthia protested. "It could be my birthday present! I'm turning 14 soon, remember, Phil?"

"I remember, I remember," I muttered as I tried to look for a way out this. You see, it's our tradition that when any of us turns a year older they can ask for anything they want. Absolutely anything. So, I sighed for a long time because I knew she had a point. Why did I invent such a stupid tradition in the first place? "Okay, okay, okay. Listen. I have made a decision... AND WE ARE GOING TO THE OCEAN!!"

"YEEEEEESSS!!"

Everyone cheered and for a moment I thought I was about to go deaf because of the riot, but it was good. It was a good kind of riot. Besides, there is no such thing as a safe place these days, so we might as well die here or die by the ocean. Okay, that came out wrong. I looked out of the barn door, checking the surroundings as I usually do out of habit. We hadn't run into an Infected for a good few weeks now, and that was odd. It was eerie. Bad things always happen when you think you're safe. But for now we were happy, and that was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again Im sorry for my awful English!  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Right now nothing much is going on but that's because I need to set the mood first, you know... tell the readers who the characters are and how the world is changed. Dan will appear soonish, I promise (this is a PHAN fic after all). All the characters are totally fictional except for Tyler, of course.  
> About future updates I hope to update once a week or so. Leave a comment please `cause that keeps me going :)


	3. Of Sticks and Instinct

By the end of the day I told everyone to pack their bags. It was roughly four pm and the sun was already beginning to set. By this time of the year daylight lasted around eight hours or so; therefore, we needed to move fast and make the most of the day. Because we didn't have any kind of electricity or batteries, we were pretty much useless once it became dark. And the Infected love to attack at night. 

"Cynth, will you please pick your stuff already? We are leaving tomorrow. First thing in the morning."

"'Kay, Phil," she told me as she bent down to pick whatever was left of her belongings. She was wearing an oversized pink blouse under a too-small brown jacket. As you might imagine, it was hard for us trying to find fitting clothes, especially since we being kids -mostly- were always growing. Fast. Every once in a while we would stop by a city and venture into long-forgotten malls to look for stores that might still have clothes on its racks. We would take anything we found and then try it on to see who it fitted best. Most of the times, however, we ended up looking like Cynth: with clothes that were either too big or too small for ourselves.

"What is this?" Gary asked as he held MY DIARY in front of him.

MY FREAKING DIARY.

"Hey! Put that down, it's personal!" I ran over to him but it was too late. He opened the small notebook that currently was my diary and began to read. I felt like I had just been doomed. Why did it occur to me that it was a good idea to have a diary in the first place? It's not like anyone's actually going to read it in the future, and now it was just plain embarrassing. Gary had his brow furrowed in concentration as he read through the only entry I had actually managed to write. Fuck heavens. I sighed, realizing there was no use in trying to take it away from him now, so I might as well just let him finish and then pretend it never happened. I was half-expecting Gary to laugh or make fun of me but instead he closed the notebook and told me:

"I want to write, too."

"Uh?"

"What I said," Gary looked at me seriously, so I assumed he was being honest and not just trying to upset me or pull my leg. "I want to write, too. I mean, this is cool, except maybe the part about people from the future reading it... 'cause I don't think that's going to happen. Sorry, Phil. I thought it was better to crush your hopes and dreams before they get too far ahead. You'll get over it eventually." Sometimes I just gotta love my family. "Thing is, that even if no one gets to read this I think that we've all got things to say. I do, at least. You know, ever since The Day I've felt... I've felt like life is meaningless. Like we are alive one day and next day we are not. You've seen it, I've seen it. And I wonder... Why are we still here? Does it matter if we live or die? And if we live... is there anything else? Is there a reason for living other than dying? We might not die today or tomorrow, but even if we make it through this mess we are still going to die one day, so why bother?" Gary ran his fingers through his ginger hair and open my diary to read. "There's something here that is actually true, and that is that we exist. We are here and we are alive. But how will anyone know that we existed once we are gone? That's why we need to write, to keep a record of our lives. To have proof that we were ever here."

Okay. That was way too sentimental, sad, and overall deep, but I understood. After all, that's why I started writing in the first place, and Gary knew it. He continued talking, "That's why I want to write, Phil. I know it's your diary and all, but do you think I could write my own entries? At least once in a while?"

"Sure, buddy." I told him, relieved that this little incident had actually turned out alright. "Just don't tell anyone els—"

Gary was passing my diary over to Cynth, Tyler, Emily and Jeff. What's wrong with people these days? In my times, a diary was supposed to be personal! Couldn't we at least have some privacy? Gary looked at me sheepishly, "I thought— 

"Don't say a word, Gary."

That night we all huddled together in the barn to sleep. It wasn't a very cold night, but being close together made us feel a little safer. The only person missing was Tyler: he was keeping watch outside, hopefully. Chances were that he had already fallen asleep. Gary would replace him later. In the meantime I was resting my head over a pile of hay, just waiting for everyone to fall asleep. As the very responsible leader that I am I always go to bed last. It might sound silly but I need to know everyone's okay before I get some rest. So far it looked like I was the last one awake, which was good. I turned to my left and found a full asleep Emily lying next to me. A single ray of moonlight shone on her face and allowed me to look at her. I couldn't help but notice how much she had grown up since I met her.

Truth was that we had all seen each other grow. It hadn't been very easy to travel throughout the country with three or more children around. Taking care of Jeff had been nightmare material. Mom would go crazy trying to find diapers for him and food that wouldn't kill him, not to mention that he had to be carried in arms the whole time. Try running from an Infected while holding a baby on your arms or guiding a bunch of kids who were likely to get murdered within the first five seconds. And don't even get me started on how we had to explain their girl problems to Emily and Cynthia. I'm still not over that day. Emily, however, no longer resembled the eight-year-old girl we found alone and scared in a building. She was tough, reckless, and our better fighter. She would wipe her ass with us if needed be. She had dark long brownish hair that fell around her face and nearly past her waist; her full lips were inviting and... Okay, I was probably feeling sleepy now. Yeah, that was it. I sighed, looking at the high, high ceiling and crossed my fingers over my chest: Tomorrow was going to be a good day.

But tonight was about to turn into hell.

I closed my eyes, trying to fall asleep at last, when a piercing scream broke through the night. A scream I knew far too well by now. Tyler Fucking Oakley. "Everybody up!!" I yelled as I grabbed my handgun and ran to the entrance as fast as I knew how. I couldn't see much, but I immediately recognized the faint outline of Tyler and a small horde of Infected closing up on him. I cursed under my breath, knowing that we were far outnumbered. "Emily, bring me ammo! The rest of you, be ready to fight but don't do it unless it's extremely necessary!" I smirked with more confidence than I actually had as I made my way to where Tyler was screaming bloody murder and brandishing a stick in the air, "We are going to kick some Infected ass."

"I'm sure you're not going in your own, are you, pretty boy?" Emily was right behind me, holding the ammo I asked for in her hand. She passed it to me and I stopped dead in my tracks. "Go back, Emily! Get our supplies, get everyone together and get the hell out of here! We are leaving. Now." I didn't need to look at her to know she was not buying my shit.

"Gary is doing that! Now you're going to let me fight or else—"

"Or else you will be dead by sunrise. Look, Emily, I know you mean well but I'M NOT going to lose any one else if I can help it. I am the fucking leader of this group and you fucking do as I say. Tyler could very well be dead by now as we merrily chat here. So get your shit together and GO!" Without a second glance back I streaked down the valley at a suicidal pace. I was probably too harsh on her, but I wasn't going to let any other member of my family be an easy meal for Infected. They wouldn't die. Not in front of my eyes. Not again. Not after what happened to dad. I held my tears back, trying to focus on what was currently happening and aimed my gun at the Infected's head. We were not going to die tonight, and this sure as hell wasn't going to be our end. The past doesn't change, but damn me to hell and back if I was going to let anything happen to Tyler. The screams grew louder all of a sudden and I knew that meant that Tyler was running out of the energy that kept him fighting. I stopped ten meters away from him.

"TYLER, SHUT YOUR BLOODY MOUTH NOW AND DUCK" If I didn't manage to shut Tyler right this second his screams were just going to attract more Infected. He did as told, and I fired. I missed, but only by inches. The Infected looked at me, possibly trying to decide whom should he eat first. The small horde that I had seen in the distance suddenly appeared less than 5 meters away from us. It's not like I'm pessimistic or anything but we were most definitely fucked. Tyler was trying to not cry and miserably failing. It looked like he was unarmed, and the only "weapon" that he had was a small stick he probably found on the ground. The sight of his tears glistening under the moonlight and his short, utterly scared whimpers filled me with determination. I fired again, hitting home three times. "Yes!"

I was sure Tyler's screams had lured them in our direction, which was good since there was probably not going to be any Infected on whatever path Gary chose to scape with the kids. Hopefully. I helped Tyler to his feet and looked around. "We are never going to make it, Phil!" He told me, but I had other plans in mind. I was about to give him instructions when an Infected jumped over us, over me, and threw me to the ground. My gun fell off my hand, and I could only watch as two more Infected did the same to Tyler. I looked up and my eyes met with the dead, unblinking eyes of the Infected. His skin was blue and he smelled like all of my sweaty socks put together, only worse. He opened his mouth wide, ready to bite and chop at least half my face when I heard a murderous cry in the distance. I didn't need to look to know who it was. Again, I was filled with determination and kicked the Infected so hard he probably broke a rib or two. In no time Emily was besides me, wielding an axe and chopping Infected heads. We were still outnumbered, but Emily was doing one hell of a good job.

"You... Should... Have let me.... Help!!" She yelled to me in-betweens dodging attacks and attacking. Blood started to pour on the ground and I was pretty sure we were both soaked in it by now. Tyler had regained his composure and was now firing my handgun and shooting his own good share of Infected. I looked for the small dagger I always carry on my belt and launched myself towards the fight.

"But you came anyway, didn't you??" I replied as a delivered a mortal stab to an Infected's heart.

"Yes! 'Cause you... were about... to become.... Infected meal! You stupid dumbass!" Emily dropped her axe and struck an Infected with a full-on blow.

"Stubborn?! How can YOU talk about stubbornness?" I asked just as the last Infected standing made its way towards me, menacing and roaring. I threw my dagger at it, hitting its eye. The Infected lost its balance and Tyler was quick to finish him.

Emily came closer to me, exhausted and sweating. She rested her palms on her knees and looked at me with a grin that was far too self-assured. "How was that for kicking Infected ass, huh?"

I rolled my eyes, reluctant to ever admit that I would be dead meat by now if she hadn't showed up. Yes, I am very responsible and mature leader like that. I looked at Tyler, who was now cleaning my gun with his bloodstained t-shirt. Ugh. We might have to get us some new clothes. I, too, cleaned my dagger before securing it back in my belt and neared Tyler. I affectionately hit him on the head. "You sucker!" Okay, maybe it wasn't as affectionately. "You could have gotten yourself killed! Care to tell me why on earth you didn't at least run? Weren't you keeping watch? And what the hell were you doing with that stick? I thought you were a goner, Ty, and I was worried sick, okay?! You little—"

 Suddenly, and for the second time that night, a horror-filled scream pierced the silence.

"It's Cynthia!" Emily yelled as she hastily picked up her axe. "I thought we had killed them all! Did we miss one?"

 I grabbed my dagger by the handle, just as the three of us raced across the field and towards the source of the scream. "Let's hope we only missed one."

 It was dark, so very dark, but Cynthia's high-pitched cries kept coming and all I could think about was that they were my family, and I had promised that I would keep them safe. I promised mom. I promised her that I would keep them safe until she came back. She never did. I felt my breath quicken and my heart racing, my mouth went dry. Hadn't Gary taken them away? Had something happened to him? Were they okay? Were they alive?

  _Hold on a little longer, guys; we're coming._

 We were only meters away now, I could feel it. We were close, closer, and at any given moment we would encounter something that was probably bound to be bad. Finally, we turned around a corner and I felt sick. I froze in place as I took in the sight in front of us. Blood was splattered everywhere, dead bodies lying on the ground. It looked like a slaughterhouse, only worse. I was speechless. I was shocked. I was SO FUCKING PROUD. Gary, who was the eldest of the lot, was finishing off the last of the Infected. He snuck up behind it and with one swift movement broke the sucker's neck in half. It made a strange gurgling noise and it fell to the ground twitching. Gary looked at me, smiling bright despite having just killed at least half a dozen of Infected. There was a flame in his eyes. "You're late," he told us. I was relieved and couldn't help but chuckle softly.

 "Did you handle them all by yourself?" I asked, checking around to see how were the others. Everyone was okay, even if a little scared.

 "No way!" He told me as he dusted off his shirt, "We worked together. Jeff shot two and Cynthia killed one. I managed to fight the other four."

 "But why was Cynth screaming like that? I thought—"

 "I screamed 'cause Gary told me to. He said it was the best way to call you guys here! I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you, Philly. I know you always tell me to not scream 'cause we attract more Infected. Although, we were actually holding pretty good on our own."

 "Speaking of which...," I turned to look at Tyler who was sheepishly starring at his feet. "Got anything to say, Ty?"

 "Okay, okay, I'm sorry! I fell asleep and it came right behind me so it startled me! Okay? I promise it wont ever, ever happen again! I'm sorry!"

 Luckily, Emily spoke before I could tell Tyler to fuck off. "It's okay, Ty. We understand. It's always very stressful to fight the Infected, and we can't always act the logical way. Most of the times we just act on instinct. It's okay."

 "Okay??" I looked at her like she had gone nuts. "You think that was okay? He almost got us killed!"

 "But he was reacting on instinct!"

 "He was scared out of his wits and poking them with a stick!!"

 "It wasn't a stick, it was a weapon!"

 "It was a stick! A bloody stick!"

 "Okay, okay, okay, guys!" Tyler stepped between us, hand raised in the air as in surrender. "I get it, it was my fault, I'm very sorry, but I really think we should go somewhere else now! I... I don't think it's safe to stay here."

 I made a face because I knew Tyler was right. We had probably attracted lots of unwanted attention with all the screaming and noise. I swept my hair aside before continuing in an all business manner. "I can't believe I'm saying this but Tyler's right. We are going to be moving all night so I hope you've got everything packed like I asked. We'll try going east. Also, we'll need to change clothes 'cause we can't risk walking in the dark while reeking of blood. Questions?"

 "Can I keep their heads?"

 "No, Jeffy."


	4. Dan Howell

The kids and I had been walking for hours on end now. We hadn't run into any more Infected, but we weren't going to take our chances: we needed to escape -fast- and keep moving at least until daybreak. Our feet, however, were tired, and so were we; after all, we hadn't been able to sleep overnight, at least not me.

It was two hours later or so when I heard a loud plop next to me.

"I'm sorry, Philly, but I'm too tired and I really think I need to sleep. Can we take a break now?"

I stopped and looked at Cynthia who was already sitting on the grass and using her backpack as one huge comfortable pillow. Gary chuckled as he sat next to his sister. "Hey, Cynth, were you asking for permission or just stating that you were going to take a break whether we want it or not?," the girl grinned sheepishly. "Anyway...," he continued, "It's dawn already, Phil, so... Let's just chill out."

"What?" I looked at the sky and for sure long gone were the moon and stars: above our heads pink and golden clouds were all that we could see. How come I hadn't notice that it was dawn? Just like the others, I took off my heavy backpack and sat down next to Cynth and Gary, "Okay, everybody, let's have a break."

I heard all kinds of exhausted noises and then watched as my family gathered round next to us and started to settle down. They all wore terrible faces and I assumed it wouldn't hurt for them to lie down and sleep a little. To tell the truth, I wouldn't mind sleeping either. Emily was the only one who didn't sit down with us, "I think I saw a lake before though I couldn't tell 'cause it was too dark, but I'm going to check it out now. Anyone coming?"

I couldn't help but yawn, "Em, I don't think anyone's got strength enough to go exploring."

"I do." Gary said, standing up to meet her.

With that, Gary and Emily left, walking down the road from which we had just come. In the meantime, I turned to look for my diary. I was feeling way too tired and all I wanted was to sleep, but if I really wanted to keep a record of our lives I needed to be constant. And I hadn't written since the other night, to be honest. From my backpack, I took out the crumpled notebook that now had become my diary and a small pencil that I found on our last trip to a city. I chew lightly on the pencil as I thought about what my next entry would be. In my first entry I had been very vague about our situation, so I thought it was best to start at the very beginning. To let the reader -that is, you people from the future- know about ourselves and get to know us, like.. who we were and how we met each other. I wrote about little Em abandoned in a building, siblings Cynth and Gary left by their dad, little Jeff rescued when he was a baby, runaway Tyler, Robert, and myself.  
Next to me, Tyler had fallen asleep, same as Cynthia and Jeff. I looked behind me only to find Emily returning from her little trip. Her long hair was dripping.

"I found the lake, Phil, not too far from here. I had a bath and now Gary is doing the same, though he should be here in no time, along with a bucket of fresh, drinkable water." I watched as she grinned brightly, towel in hand. "So, I think it's best for us to take the chance and bathe 'cause I bet we are still reeking of Infected blood and you know that can't be good." Earlier I had told everyone to dispose of every item of clothing that had been splattered with blood, and even though we had 'cleaned' ourselves we hadn't properly showered or anything, so Em was just about right. "And you, Phil, smell," she wrinkled her nose playfully and smiled. "You should go now, or as soon as Gary's back. I'll keep watch in the meantime."

I hate to admit this to you, people from the future, but I was in fact filthy and probably not smelling of roses, so that actually seemed like a good idea. "You sure you can handle being all by yourself while I'm gone?" I teased her.

"Oh, nooo! Please don't leave me alone, Phil, who knows what might happen if I stay alone!" she rolled her eyes as she dropped her backpack next to mine and sat on the ground. She was currently attempting to dry her hair with a towel, our only towel in fact. She threw it at me once she was done and then laid on her back. "Go now, 'cause I won't be able to sleep unless you're back. Just follow the road and eventually you'll find it."

"You're bossier than I am," I muttered as I wrapped the slightly wet towel around my shoulders and began walking towards the lake as told.

I passed Gary on my way to the lake: he was holding two heavy buckets of water and barely acknowledged my presence. It was understandable due to how tired he was. We all were. Even I, your very responsible leader and narrator, could feel my eyelids heavy as my steps became slightly uncoordinated. As it turned out, the lake was less than 5 minutes away. It wasn't very large but it was deep enough to swim, surrounded by a few oak trees and warm grass to lie on. In the morning light, the clearness of its waters as they glowed beneath the sun was a sight worth taking in. However, I was Phil Lester and right about now I couldn't give a damn about the lake and just how beautiful it was: In no time I was stripping down and getting ready for a skinny dip. I dived in as warm water welcomed me and I closed my eyes pleasantly. It was so, so relaxing.

It had been quite a long time since the last time I had the chance to properly bathe. Of course, I didn't have shampoo or anything, but I did have one small piece of soap with which I washed my body. I hummed softly as I let the soap and water do their job. Once I thought I had gotten rid of all the dirt -and even though I was exhausted- I allowed myself to swim. I've never been a good swimmer, mind you, but at least I wouldn't drown if my life depended on it; and I loved to swim. I swam for a long time before going ashore, and when I did, I felt like I was a new man, or man-boy, albeit a pretty tired one.

I dried my hair with the towel and then I ran my fingers through it in a pathetic attempt to make it look decent. Failed. Once I was done, I wrapped the towel around my waist and leaned against a tree. I knew I should go back to where the guys were, but -really- all I wanted was to take a nap. I looked at my backpack, right next to me, and thought about my diary, that one piece of paper held together that would one day tell the world about us. I opened it and began to read.

What the actual fuck.

Was I high when I wrote this? I now understood that no one must -ever- read this abomination again. Not at least until we are all dead and 50 years into the future at least. After that realization I must have fallen asleep, for the next thing I remember is waking up to a pair of big brown eyes hovering inches away from my face.

What.

And I mean it like... WHAT.

I screamed as I pulled away fast. I didn't recognize the person as Emily, Jeff or Gary, but it wasn't an Infected either. It was a guy. He had slightly wavy hair, the same colour of his eyes, shimmering brightly under the sun light. He looked like a teen, a few years younger than me but definitely older than Cynthia. He fell backwards on his elbows, looking as startled as I did. Who the heck was this guy, and most important, what was he doing here? We hadn't met with any other survivors in a long time. Around the time that we got Robert to join our family. If this guy was here then his group was probably around. For some reason that didn't comfort me... I don't really trust other humans, unless they're like... 10 years younger than me. I tried to calm down anyways, assuming that he -probably- wasn't a threat. He was just a boy, after all... I could handle a boy. Therefore, I sat up straight then politely proceeded to ask him who he was and what was going on.

"OH MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCK, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!?"

I guess that didn’t come out as planned.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you!" He replied, removing his hair from his eyes and raising his hands as in surrender. "I saw you lying here and I thought you were dead or an Infected. I just wanted to make sure you were alive and all that. I... didn't really mean to invade your personal space or anything. Really."

As I remembered the way he leaned towards my face when I woke I thought it was an understatement that this guy definitely had a problem with personal space. Anyway, I shrugged it off and tried to look friendly to make up for my previous outburst. It is a rough world the one we live in so a little sympathy is always welcomed. "Chill, it's okay. I thought you were an Infected when I woke up so I guess we are even. Is your group around?"

All the boy did was shake his head, which meant that he had either gotten lost or that he was on his own. That was weird. No one travels alone these days, let alone a teenage boy (besides Tyler, that is), and that made me a little wary. Was he telling me the truth? He didn't look the survivor type. Not that I looked like it either, but he was so thin, pale and slender that I doubted he knew how to shoot a gun. In fact, it almost hurt my eyes to see how pale he was and how white his teeth were. Like, in case you haven't realized by now, we don't really have toothpaste or anything like that, so... IT ISN'T NORMAL TO HAVE TEETH AS WHITE AS PEARLS. But I nodded anyways. "That's okay, don't worry. We'll help you find your group. When was the last time you saw them?"

"Like, four years ago."

Okay, what?

"I'm sorry, I think I misheard. Uh... What?"

The guy shrugged slightly. "I didn't have a group but I used to live with my dad before he disappeared. After that... well, it's only been me."

"And you've been living all on your own since then?"

"Well, sorta. I mean, yes, but I guess it's not like you imagine. I'm just not like you... Travelling all the time, never settling in one place... I don't do any of that. In fact, I’ve been living in the same place for a good twelve years now, which is... pretty much all my life if we consider than I'm only sixteen."

Now, believe me when I say that nothing is surprising these days, not when you've been living the Apocalypse for so long, so, to say that I was actually astonished by this guy's words was something to speak of. "Don't judge me but I'm not really following. What?"

The guy with brown, dishevelled hair grinned. "I guess this might be a bit overwhelming. What if I tell you my name first? I'm Daniel, in case you were wondering. I don't really like my full name so it's okay if you call me Dan. I live around... kinda. And you must be Phil."

Okay, I'm not prone to paranoia or anything, but I was about to stand up and run. "Were you following me? Us?"

"No. Not really. I didn't intend to, at least. I mean, not until today. I saw your friends earlier, Emily and Gary, and—"

"Stalker alert!" I cried loud as I stood up quickly and turned away, ready to run if needed be. "I don't know who you are or how do you know this but I'm leaving! I don’t want to see you again so, please, DON'T follow us!"

The guy with wavy brown hair, Dan, looked down in embarrassment. "Fine, I won't but... Phil? Your... Your towel kind of fell."

I looked down only to find 'little Phil' uncovered and I turned bright red. I really don't want to admit this, people from the future, but I may or may not have screamed like a little girl. I had completely forgotten to put on a new change of clothes before falling asleep. "Oh my God; don't look, DON'T LOOK!!" For someone who has lived with a bunch of people for twelve years having little to no personal space, I was highly concerned when it came to nakedness. I don't care if you're a girl or a boy, YOU WON'T SEE ME THE WAY GOD MADE ME. I bent down and grabbed the towel from the ground, making sure to tighten it around my waist.

“Okay, that was awkward.” I muttered under my breath as I looked around for my backpack. Quickly, I grabbed it from besides the oak tree and closed my hand around the first shirt and trousers that I found. No pants for me as it seems. “Would you mind turning around for a minute, kid? Or are you going to keep on stalking?”

Sheepishly, the guy did as told, facing the other way and closing his eyes. “The name´s Dan, and I’m not s stalker, I told you! I… I was surprised, that’s all. I hadn’t seen other humans in so long… I was a little curious. I… I’m sorry.”

I sighed as I tried to put on a clean-ish white shirt and a pair of brown, patched up trousers. In a way, I felt like I couldn’t trust him. I had just met the guy, for God’s sake! And he already knew our names, which is scary. But… what if he was telling the truth? I know how it feels like when your parents never return. I could relate to that, honestly. Once I was done and looked decent, I sat next to him once again. Maybe we had just started off wrong.

“I know you already know this but… Hi. My name is Phil.”

The guy was shocked when he turned to face me and saw that I was actually extending my hand over to him in a formal greeting. Nervously, he did the same. “Hi, Phil… I’m Dan. Nice to meet you?” I’m not sure of what was I expecting, but I definitely wasn’t expecting his hands to be so soft. I mean, my family and I… We are fighters. Our hands are calloused and tanned and strong. But Dan’s hands were soft and pale and delicate. It was so weird. When his hand came over to meet mine and we touched… I felt like he wasn’t even human, and for the first time I really looked him in the eye, those deep brown eyes...

Then I mentally smacked myself for it.

I barely knew this guy and for all I knew he could be a spy abut to kill us for food or something. I retrieved my hand then bit my lip, unsure of what to do next. “So, Dan… Do you have somewhere to go? I mean, I do, but… I mean…”

Dan looked at me inquisitively. “Are you asking me to go with you?”

“No! I mean, yes, unless you have something better to do. You told me that you don’t have a group, right? It must be hard to be by yourself. My family and I are camping a little to the South, five minutes away from here, in case you want to join. At least for the day. We got supplies and water and a few cans.”

What was I doing? Why was I telling this really weird guy to just come over and have brunch with us? I didn’t trust him, did I? Yet, I felt like it was something that I needed to do, despite him being a stalker and basically a stranger with no sense of personal space. If he killed us in our sleep then that would be on me.  
“Actually, I… I do have a place to go to. But I’d be on my own, so I guess it wouldn’t hurt if I go with you. I haven’t met with anyone else in ages! And Jeff looks like a cool kid, same as Cynthia and Tyler. I haven’t met them yet. I haven’t met Emily or Gary either but–“

“Okay, you’re back in stalker mode! How do you know that?!? Are you a psychic or something?”

“I… I think I might have read your diary… It was on the ground when I found you and I picked it up. I didn’t know it was your diary and I swear I was about to put it down when you woke up. I didn’t mean to invade your personal space or anything. Really. At least not again…”

“Again?!?”

“Oh. It’s just that I may… or may not have been looking when you were in the lake. I’m so sorry! I won’t do it again, I promise.”

I was about to flip out for real this time. I closed my eyes, trying not to follow my instincts and choke him with my own hands. I breathed in, breathed out. Clasped my hands together. “You know what? I don’t even mind. Let’s pretend that never happened and I promise I won't murder you right as of now. ”

“Okay… that sounds like a threat but okay.”

“Just let me pick up my stuff and we’ll go,” I muttered whilst definitely trying to not look him in the eye. Em was sure going to be mad at me for taking so long but, with any luck, Dan would be enough of a good excuse to make up for my delay. It’s not every day that we find a gorgeous-looking guy astray.


End file.
